Get out of jail free again...

I have a new brace that is a lot smaller and one crutch when needed. I feel like a free lady again. I love it. I am so happy. PT is hard and I spend several hours a day doing therapy myself but there is definite progress both physically and mentally. My doctor said, you are stronger than you think...

So yeah, mental breakdowns still happen but not

as bad or as frequent. I am excited to be me again and do all my responsibilities. Lets just hope I am learning what I need to learn this time. 

Hide and Seek

The girls love to hide in the cupboard. It's a corner cupboard so once they get in it opens up and they can both fit it there. Addi informed me yesterday that is where she hides and eats skittles and that Matt taught her what to do. No surprise there! 

Brinley has always loved playing school

Girls Night

Brian took Matt camping so me and Brin had a girls night. We watched Ella Enchanted and then slept in our bed with the heat on high. Brinley is such a sweet, kind, creative hard

working girl. I love her so much!

Sisters are the BEST!!

Me and the little girls got the mail yesterday and it felt like Christmas. We got a package key so we opened up the mailbox to find a huge package stuffed in there. I wasn't expecting anything and had no idea who it was from. The only way to get it out was to start ripping open the package. Easter stuff and prizes kept falling out and my girls were soooo excited. Once we were finally able to rip the box enough we got it out and saw that it was from my sister Alisha. She had sent a whole bunch of prizes, candy, movies and games to keep my kids busy while I am disabled. She wrote the sweetest note too. I was crying and Addi kept asking me why I was crying and I said I am just so happy. She said, "mom you don't cry when you are happy just sad." 

My kids have been so excited to earn prizes by helping me and I am loving all the help and sweet children. Seriously my sister is the best. I was not very nice to her in high school so I am glad she still likes me. :)

 That same day I also got a sweet note from my Dad and a gift are to Which Wich which is my favorite sandwich place. He is the best Dad ever! 

I might have had just a few mental breakdowns this week hence the love and support from my awesome family. 

Miss Macie

This gal loves to practice her new found skill of getting undressed. It's driving me crazy and sucking my energy! Today she undressed herself and took off her poopy diaper in bed and of course there was poop everywhere! I wanted to pull my hair out!

I love our house...

I love the location of our house...right across from the school and a big park. The kids walk to school in the morning and home in the afternoon. Macie is usually asleep at 2:30 when they get out. I love not worrying about planning naps with picking up kids.

Also, Matt's soccer team practices right across the street. I just send him out the door and he runs across the street. No loading kids up and finding shoes. I love it!! 

Spring Fever

It snowed and then it was over 60 degrees. Yesterday was so beautiful. The  kids played outside the whole day and I even ventured out for a little bit to plan our dream yard. 

Later in the day Brinley decided she wanted to make cupcakes. We have been watching cupcake wars while I do my exercises and Brinley loves it. She even wants a cupcake wars birthday party. She made everything all by herself. Except or a minor 1/2 cup instead of 1/2 tsp of vanilla she did great. 

I am up to 80 degrees on my range of motion and less pain every day. Recovery is just painfully slow!!

P

1 week post op

I can't believe it's been a week! I don't even remember the first couple of days...they were just a blur. I had my first physical therapy appointment yesterday. I was a mess and just cried the first 5 min. My PT was amazing and his goal is to help me get back even better than where I started. I am excited to get my hips, ankles and knees to a good healthy place. I just feel like I have fallen apart the last couple years and I don't want to feel like that anymore. Turning 30 and having my 4th baby did a number on my body! 

Addi keeps asking if I am done getting surgeries. When Brian dropped me off at PT Addi asked if I was going to stay there forever. She is so worried. I told her no that I was just going to work out for a little bit. 

Today has been so great. I am getting stronger and more able each day. Maybe it's because yesterday was so hard and I was so tired and cold and emotional. I was ready for bed at 6 pm! I took a bath and pretty much just cried the whole time. It sucks not being able to do life, even the simple things of life like hold your baby. Macie stands in front of me and cries with her arms up and I can't pick her up. I know I felt like this last year literally at this same time (broke my ankle March 2013) so I am mad at myself that I am in this situation again!  What else am I supposed to learn that I didn't last year?!?

This morning I got my own ice and it felt  amazing. I am getting there slowly but surely. 

Day 6/Day 1 solo

Today was rough both physically and emotionally. It was my first day without Brian or my Mom here. Brian got the kids ready for school and then stayed and got the little girls ready. He made sure I had enough ice and water etc before he left. The little girls were dancing and singing in the music room so I went to put my leg up on the couch. Literally 30 seconds later Brian walks back in with 2 naked little girls. When did they have time to do that!?! 

Right then my friend Tina called and offered to take the girls. Perfect timing. Around noon my other friend Toni picked up my girls and brought us lunch. Amazing as well. She left and all the kids got home. Pure chaos! Tisha got there to get Matt and I was in teara because Macie had just spilled an entire cup of water on my papers, remotes and food and I was wiping that up meanwhile Macie had gone upstairs and I could hear the water on but didn't know if my bathroom was flooding or if Macie was soaking wet. 

So I had Tisha put Macie to bed and she ended up taking Matt and Addi and I was able to help B with her homework and elevate and ice my knee. Me and Brin watched at least 3 episodes of cupcake wars. It was very nice until 5:30 pm when all the kids were back together and fighting like cats and dogs literally after 15 seconds of being together!! I wanted to beat them with my crutches. So it was a super hard day but a super amazing day because my friends saved me from a mental breakdown. The sad thing is that I only had my kids for 30 minutes today. 

Day 5

My mom is gone. It's kinda sad and depressing. My house feels so empty without her. She was so super helpful the entire time she was here. She got me whatever I needed, cared for the kids, made dinners, lunches and cookies, did my calling at church, cleaned, vacuumed and folded all the laundry. She even got my kids to be peacemakers...not easy task there... Talk about an AMAZING woman and mother. I love her so much and don't know what I would do without her in my life.

I am able to get around more and I even showered today. I am taking less pain medication and able to move my leg a little more. I was able to a straight leg lift for the first time today. Its so hard to find the motivation to do the PT exercises. My leg hurts the most when I stand as all the blood rushes downward. It feels like my knee is going to explode. The last few nights I have not slept well. I usually sleep on my tummy or side with my legs bent so I have been very uncomfortable at night. I just want to bend my knee!!

Eating cookie monsters!

She cut her finger really bad opening a can of beans.

Addison was the best helper with Grandma around.

Just one example of the delicious dinners she made. Salmon, asparagus and rice. She cooked a huge Salmon for Costco which I didn't think we would eat but we almost ate the whole thing...it was THAT good!

Making cookies. Thinking back I honestly don't even remember Friday. I am glad she was there to play with my kids.

Washing my hair...very tricky to do.

Pancakes everyday for breakfast with homemade buttermilk syrup...yum!

Macie is such a doll. She and Addi love to push the buttons on my CPM machine. I have been living on the couch since Thursday.

Preschool

I have done Mothergoose preschool for a total of 4 years. I LOVE the program and the curriculum and the price. You cant beat it, especially if you have a great group of ladies to do it with you. This past week was my last time teaching for several years. I don't want to say ever because I may do it with Macie. However, next year I enrolled Addison at the local rec center. I am still a little torn about my decision. I like the idea of getting several local passes and doing fun things each day with my girlies. They would love it. However, I know myself and I know that I am a homebody. I rarely leave the house unless I have to go somewhere. Now that my older two can just walk home from school its gotten even worse.

I also manage our properties which takes a lot of time and energy. We are slowly selling them or letting other people manage but that is a long process because we are very slow to make decisions. When I teach I feel like I get so far behind in life that it takes a couple weeks to catch up. I like the idea of just dropping her off somewhere. It also helps that I have a couple of friends who signed up too so we can carpool.

I have been watching home videos while I have been down and out. I am realizing what a character my Addison is...from watching her chase Matt around the house with her little fist up when she is two, to calling everyone "poopyhead", or pooping in her closet....she is my little firecracker. She was my smallest baby and my loudest baby. She is sugar and spice and lets not forget the time she got suspended from nursery....What to do?

McKenzie, Addison, Madison, Izzy and Merrick